Stepping into Maggie's shoes 23

PART 23 S.I.M.S
(STEPPING INTO MAGGIE’SSHOE)
©️OpeyemiOjerindeAkintunde

Gabriel was stroking my hair and I was enjoying every bit of it, but at the same time the voice in my head was loud repeatedlysaying

“Do you loveme?”

“Yes Lord, you know I do!” I replied in myheart...

“I am not a wicked guy who just wants to snatch you away from your husband, but I feel this is what you should do, your husband is an adulterer and the BIBLE permits divorce based onthat...”

Igentlyremovedmyheadfromhisshoulderinshockastohowheknewmyhusband was committing adultery. I also tried to feignignorance.

“He is not!” I said indefense.

“Happy, you know he is, you think I don’t know he sleeps with my mother at your house? Happy, how do you cope staying in that house knowing that your husband is sleeping with another marriedwoman...”

“It’s my cross I have tobear.”

“No, you are not Jesus. You shouldn’t bear anycross.” “Who toldyou?”
“No one, I have the password to my mother’s phone which she is unaware of. I read her chats with theApostle.”

“What I don’t understand is why your mother is doing this? Adultery is a sin against God. She commits it every week and yet raises her hands in church onSunday.”

“My father hardly has her time.” “That doesn’tmean...”
It felt like I was preaching to myself. I became irritated with myself for staying in the hotel withGabriel...

“I need to go!” I stood up and wore my sandals back. “Go?, we just gothere!”

“Listen Gabriel, as much as doing this makes sense and is justifiable, if I let this happen, I am no less like your mother. Let me see this as a cross I will bear... I have madealotofmistakesinmypastoutofgreed,Iamnotabouttocompoundissuesby addingthistothelist.Youareagoodpersonandifwisheswerehorses,Iwouldhave lovedtodivorcemyhusbandtomarryyou,butdivorcewasallowedbyMosesbecause of the hardness of the heart of people to let go of hurts, but I know God would rather want me to stay in this marriage and work thingsout.”

“Are you sure this is what you want?” I nodded in theaffirmative.
“Ok, can I at least get a last hug” hesaid.

Idrewclosetohimandgavehimahug,butallhellwasletloose.Theemotionscould not be controlled, we both lost our sense of reasoning, but just at the point of making the everlasting mistake I would have regretted all my life, God gave me the strength to push him off me as I ran into the bathroom cryingprofusely...

“God this is not fair, not fair one bit, I know I wished for this, but if you knew this was how complex it was going to be, you should have cautioned me... God I want to have sex, God I really want to, please,please.”

“Do you loveme?”

“Yes Lord, I love you...” and the depth of that question broke me down. “If you love me, you won’t do what will hurt me, and adultery hurtsme.”
I cried and cried and cried uncontrollably in the toilet throwing tantrums before God, knowingGodwasnotgivingmeGabriel.Hewastellingmetostayinthemarriagewith Ray. Gabriel kept knocking at the door apologizing but I didn’t answer him. This was between God andme.

After about 15 minutes, I heard the door of my room open and close. I knew Gabriel wasout.

I stood up, washed my face and came to a painfulresolution.

“Apostle,Iwon’tletwhatyouaredoingaffectmeonebit,youhaveyourwaystosettle with God, I will be the best housemate I can be and the best mother in the Lord in the church. Mrs. Beecroft and the other women you are in fortrouble...”

*************

Gabriel kept calling my number on my way home, I decided to do what I knew how to do best. I barred his number from callingme.

As I stepped out of the taxi, I met Mrs. Beecroft driving out of my gate. I wove her car down but she refused to stop. Apostle was standing in the compound surprised I was back.

“Guess your lover boy disappointed you, not everyone is good at thisgame!”

I felt really hurt at his show of stupid pride doing what was wrong. I didn’t have an answer for a baby like him, but I needed to clear theair...

“On the contrary, I disappointed him because I suddenly remembered I was not a womanofeasyvirtuelikehismotherandmostimportantlyIrememberedthatnothing should separate me from the love of God, not even the emotional pain my callous husband inflicts on me everyday.”

He was shocked and didn’t say a word as I went into the house. He followed me and asked in the living room “So you didn’t sleep with him?” He said like a little boy who had just won a victory.

“Howisthatyourbusiness?ApostleRay,youhavebroughtmeintoyourlifeandyour home, I have certain rules if you want this home to bepeaceful.”

“OK?”

“Oursalvationispersonalandsinceyouarenotpassionateaboutkeepingyours,mine isveryimportant.Firstandforemost,Idon’twanttoeverseeanyofyourloosewomen in this house again, you can make a better arrangement elsewhere, but as for my home I don’t plan on condoling it here. The atmosphere here needs to be cleansed. Secondly,Iwillprepareyourfoodeverydaywhichyoumusteatfrom,thedayyoudon’t eat my food will behell.”

“Are you crazy?” He said not believing the audacity Ihad.

“That is exactly the right word to describe me right now, and you know crazy can be deadly...” I said.

He hissed and walked up the stairs like a little child who has been refused what he reallywants...

“You think you are a naughty child, well I used to be a naughty child too, who knows exactlyhowtogetwhatshewants.ApostleRay,youwillgivemeexactlywhatIwant” I said and had a very goodlaugh.

To be continued.